Pretend to Care
by FutureMrs.JasperHale
Summary: Bella is dating Mike when she starts to have terrible nigthmares. She meets Edward when her dad calls Carlisle for home visit. is there something between Edward and Bella? What is causing the nightmares?
1. Nightmares

"Bella, Do you know how late it is?" I heard Charlie from the couch. I hated it when he stayed up and waited for me to get in.

"Sorry Dad, I was with Mike." Mike was my boyfriend. He hadn't made it official yet, but I knew that he wanted to. Luckily, Charlie didn't know about Mike and me dating. "I am going to go to bed."

"Okay Bella. Sleep well." Charlie was absolutely clueless. I had been hanging out with Mike every night this week. How could he not be wondering what was going on? I could be 8 months pregnant and he wouldn't notice unless I went into labor in the living room. Wait, scratch that. He still wouldn't know. He was so unobservant it was funny.

So here's the story. My name is Isabella Marie Swan. I am 17 and I live with my father. My parent's divorced when I was young and my mom died about 2 years ago of breast cancer. I now lived with my dad in the rainiest and shadiest place known to man. Yes, you guessed it, Forks, Washington. Everything here is green. There was so much moss you couldn't tell where the grass ended and the trees started. I used to find it frightening, but now I find it welcoming. I was going to Forks High School and was dating the dorkiest and most adorable guy there, Mike Newton. He was nice, but sometimes I wondered if we even had that much in common.

I didn't want to think about it. I couldn't hurt him. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did. I didn't like him as much as he liked me. I felt like there was something missing. I just wanted to sleep. I changed into a pair of sweats and my "Save the Ta Ta's" T shirt. I laid down under my deep blue down comforter and drifted away silently to sleep.

In my dream there was this beautiful bronze haired boy. He looked like he was my age. He was gorgeous, tall, and mysterious. He was calling to me in a voice like velvet. "Bella," he called to me. "Bella, where are you?" He was worried. I just couldn't find out why. I tried to call to him and ask who he was when I realized there was something on my mouth. What the hell was on my mouth? I went to reach for it when I realized that my hands were tied down. What the hell was happening to me and where the hell was I? I moved my head and looked to the right and saw that Mike was tied up beside me and his throat was gushing blood. His lips were blue and his blue eyes were staring at me in shock.

I wrenched out of bed clutching the sheets and screaming. I tried to smother the screams with my pillow. Still my father barged into the room holding a plunger to protect himself. Charlie was such a dork. Even though he looked hilarious holding the plunger like a shotgun in front of him, I still couldn't laugh. I had tears pouring down my face like a fountain. My dad decided to speak once the screaming stopped and my tears were falling silently down my face. "Bella, Bella what is wrong?"

Charlie was never good with tears. He hadn't heard me scream like this since a year ago when my mom's death had started to affect me. I had nightmares for weeks and they all ended in me screaming. His face held the worry of the past in them. "I just had a nightmare Ch-Dad. It is nothing for you to concern yourself with." My voice cracked while I was trying to get him to leave.

"A nightmare," Charlie asked. His voice matched his face, filled with worry. "Bella, sweetheart, what did you dream about?"

"It was nothing dad. I just had a dream that I was falling off a cliff. It was so realistic that it took me a while to snap out of it." I was a terrible liar. My dad was just recently getting dumb enough to believe me.

"Oh, Okay." Charlie got up and walked to the door. Before he left he turned towards me and said a quick "Sleep tight." Sure I was going to sleep tight. How about not, I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle this place for long. I waited until I could hear Charlie's low snoring when I left the house and went to walk in the woods with my flashlight.

It was a clear night out. The sky was filled with stars and the moon brightly shone over the canopy of trees above my head. The moon shone bright enough that it filled the mostly dark night with enough light so I didn't have to use a flashlight. I was enjoying the peaceful sea of green around me when I started to hear the slightest shuffle of leaves behind me. I was about to turn around to see what it was when a bunny jumped out from behind me. A small girlish screech left my mouth and then I laughed at myself.

The woods were starting to get brighter like the sun might be shining soon. I wondered idly how long I had been walking. I looked at my watch. 6:30 A.M! What time did I leave? Almost 4:00A.M. I gasped. I had been walking for two and a half hours! How far had I gone? I rushed back home, glad to find that I had been walking in big circles. I hoped that Charlie wouldn't realize I was gone yet. When I got home I saw black Mercedes sitting in front of our house. Who could that possibly be? I walked inside to find that my dad was awake and talking to this gorgeous man in a white doctors' coat.

"Dad who is this," I had just realized how dry my throat was and that I sounded absolutely horrible. I walked into the kitchen to get drink. I grabbed a cup and poured some water from the pitcher into my glass. I had chugged three glasses of water when I heard someone come up behind me. I turned around to see the guy from my dreams standing in front of me. I dropped the glass and everything went black before I could hear the glass shatter against the floor.

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**So this was really short. **

**I will write longer ones as I go. **

**This is my first Fanfic.**

**R&R Please.**

**- Rachael**


	2. Hospital

I started hearing a voice and hands probing at my arms, legs, and head. The voice closest sounded too familiar even though I had never heard it before. It was a voice like velvet. It was his voice. I didn't even know his name and yet I knew his voice so well. "Is she going to be okay?"

Then another voice answered him. "She is going to be just fine. Could you tell what had caused this?"

"Carlisle, I already told you that I didn't see anything wrong. I might have scared her a little, but not enough for her to faint." Carlisle, I thought I had heard about a Carlisle while Charlie was on the phone talking to Harry. Something about a new doctor, the best doctor on the west coast? I was thinking I was wrong when I heard my dad chime in.

"Dr. Cullen, Is Bella going to be alright?" Dr Carlisle Cullen, I knew it. He was the new doctor. He graduated as the Valid Victorian from Yale. There had been an article about him in the paper once.

"Your daughter is going to be just fine. Has she been acting different lately? Any different eating habits, sleep deprivation, or paranoia?"

"She woke up screaming around 3 o'clock this morning. After I got her to calm down she told me that she had had a nightmare. After about twenty minutes she was well enough to go back to sleep." Charlie seriously needed to become more observant. Maybe there was a class that he could take to help him.

"Did she say what the nightmare was about?"

"Yes, she told me that it was about falling off a cliff, but I believe it was about her mother's funeral. Renee, her mother, died two years ago of breast cancer. For a while after the funeral she had constant nightmares and she would scream every night. It stopped after about four months though. I thought she was doing better."

"Did she do anything to trigger a flashback?"

"I wouldn't know. She was gone most of the day."

"Edward, go get the nurse and tell her to write a subscription for anti-depressants." I heard the faint sound of footsteps leave the room and found the strength to open my eyes. I looked around and realized that I was in a hospital room. I gasped in horror when I saw the IV hooked up to my arm. I shuddered. Needles were one of my greatest fears. I looked up from my arm and saw my dad sitting next to my bed. He smiled the slightest bit then looked to the other side of the bed. For the first time I got a look at Carlisle's face. He was gorgeous and pale. He was one of the most attractive guy's I had ever seen.

"Bella, can you hear me."

"Yes, I can hear you just fine. How did I get into the hospital?"

"Do you remember what happened? What made you faint like this?" I moved to shake my head when I realized that the simplest movement hurt my head.

"No, I don't remember. What happened to my head?"

"You hit you head pretty hard and got pieces of glass in the back of your head. We just took out the glass and wrapped up your head. You had a small concussion and you have been out for quite a while."

"Oh," was all I could manage to get out. I couldn't believe that I actually had a concussion and had been out long enough for them to bring me here. I was getting ready to ask another question when Edward entered the room. Carlisle excused himself and my Dad left the room as well. Edward walked over to the side Carlisle was just on and sat down in the chair.

"Hello Bella. I see you are awake."

"Yes, and I am feeling much better."

"Bella, what was it that caused you to faint?" Edward reached over and moved a stray hair from my face when mike entered the room. He looked at Edward then to me. I could my face feel like it was catching on fire. A deep red must have been spreading across my face. Mike's face got the violet color whenever he got jealous, which was most of the time.

"You Slut!"


	3. Jealousy

What was his problem? Even when he was jealous he never got this rude. He had never even called me names when he was kidding. My head instantly started hurting. I can't believe that I am going to have to deal with him when he was being so incoherent. "Mike, what the hell is your problem?"

"You damn well know what my problem is. I show up here to help make you feel better and bring you a bear and flowers, to find you cheating one me?!"

He was being so irrational. "Mike, I am not cheating on you, Edward was at my house when I"

"He was at your house. What was he there for? What, were you two having sex when you hit your head or something."

"Oh yeah, Mike, let me tell you. I haven't been cheating on you, but I will if you want me too. All I would have to do is go work at the strip club and I could get someone in no time. Now are you going to stop being so irrational and start listening to me?"

"No, bitch, I am not going to listen to another fucking thing you say. We are through. You are too much of a whore for me." While Mike was saying this I saw Edward clench and unclench his jaw. It reminded me of my dream on how defensive he was getting. Why would he care so much? He just met me.

"Mike, Mike Newton, I presume," Edward said as he stood up. His hands were balled up into fists and he looked pissed. "You are one jealous little fellow aren't you?" Mike didn't know what to do. If I didn't know any better I would say he was drunk, but Mike was completely against alcohol.

"What's it to you and how the hell do you know my name freak? Did she whisper it to you while you two were doing the nasty? Did she scream my name a lot? Was it good?" Edward was even more pissed now. He lifted his fist pulled it back and punched Mike dead on. Mike tried to fight back, but Edward was too fast for him. Edward had Mike's back to me along with his arms as if Mike was going to be handcuffed and taken to jail.

"Bella isn't a bitch. We didn't have sex and she didn't cheat on you." Edward was talking through clenched teeth and barely talking into Mikes left ear. He tightened his grip while he talked. "You need to learn who to call a slut and who to call out. Bella wouldn't even have to work in a strip club to cheat on you. All she would have to do is walk around a mall. You had her, now you dumped her. If I ever hear you speak another word to her I will break your arm." That is when Edward let go and Mike ran as fast as he could to get out of here. Edward turned and smiled at me. I couldn't help but blush and smile back. Mike was seriously gone. I didn't have to listening to his jealousy anymore. I was free of him. Thank God.

"What was that for?" Edward looked uncomfortable like he was embarrassed. He ws struggling to say what he was thinking.

"I feel that someone as beautiful as you shouldn't have to deal with assholes like Mike. He had no right to judge you like that."

"I don't know what came over him I mean he has never," that was when it caught up to me. _Someone as beautiful as you, _he thought I was beautiful? I blushed again.

"What? Why are you blushing?"

"You really think I am beautiful?" He looked embarrassed again.

"Yeah…I mean...I just think that…Yes I do." Then he looked away from me and I fought so hard to keep from smiling.

"So you wanted to know why I fainted." He just nodded. He wouldn't look back at my face and for that I was partially grateful. "Well last night I had a dream."

"About your mother's funeral," It wasn't a question but a statement.

"No, that is just what I told Charlie. I had a dream that I was in this dark room tied up. Beside me was Mike dead. And you," he looked at me then. "You were walking through the halls calling my name. There was so much concern and care. I didn't understand. So when I saw that someone as gorge…I mean that you were not just a figment of my imagination I freaked and fainted." Edward had his hand folded along my cheek and stared into my eyes.

"What were you going to say?" A slow smile crept across Edward's face. I blushed again and turned my head away from him.

"I was going to say that when I saw someone as gorgeous as my dream existed." I felt an odd attraction to him. I had just met him. Why were my feelings toward him so strong? Edward grabbed my chin lightly and turned my face toward him. He brought his face close to mine and I thought he was about to kiss me when he stopped a few inches away from my face.

"I can't believe that someone as gorgeous as you has ever existed." I closed the little space between us and pressed my lips to his softly. I pulled away quick. What had I just done? I just met him. Maybe I am a slut. Edward smiled a beautiful crooked smile and kissed me again. His kiss was sweet like strawberries. I was about to pull him closer to me when someone cleared their throat. I pulled back and looked behind Edward to the door.

"Shit."


	4. Visitor

**PREVIOUSLY:** **"I can't believe that someone as gorgeous as you has ever existed." I closed the little space between us and pressed my lips to his softly. I pulled away quick. What had I just done? I just met him. Maybe I am a slut. Edward smiled a beautiful crooked smile and kissed me again. His kiss was sweet like strawberries. I was about to pull him closer to me when someone cleared their throat. I pulled back and looked behind Edward to the door.**

"**Shit."**

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Standing in the doorway was none other than my very abusive ex, Jacob. Oh, this was fantastic. Edward already fought my battles today. I don't deserve him. At least I could deal with Jacob by myself. Through out all of this drama I realized how bad my head was hurting. "Edward, do you mind getting your father? I'm starting to get a head ache."

"I don't mind at all." Before he left the room he stopped and kissed my forehead. I watched him walk away and then Jacob obstructed my view. Gosh, he was gigantic. His face was that shade of red-violet it turned when he was pissed off. I knew that I most likely would have to get help but I needed to try.

"None of your business, I broke up with you after you beat me up and I broke my arm and was put in the hospital. Or do you forget the little paper you signed called a restraining order. You shouldn't be within 100 feet of me. I could press charges again, and you know damn well that I will." I was starting to feel confident of myself. I spent a year with that abusive ass hole and now I wasn't going to take him trying to frightening me. It wouldn't work anymore.

"That piece of paper means shit to me." He walked forward with his hands balled up into fists. I knew what was coming next. This used to be routine, but not tonight. It wouldn't have it.

"Get the hell away from me Jacob. They have cops in this hospital and you should remember Charlie is an officer."

_Flashback: It was dark outside, I had a cast on my arm had a pretty nice gash on my head. Jacob came over after I had gotten out of the hospital. Jacob was pissed because I told my father about our one sided arguments. I was questioned by so many people at the hospital and Charlie was crying at my feet asking if I tried to commit suicide. I was trying to explain to him that I wasn't committing suicide, he just wouldn't listen to word I was saying. "Listen Bella tell your father that those were lies. I can't go without you."_

"_You should have thought of that before. I'm not going to deal with any more of your shit. I am tired of getting injured and lying about it. I would be in the hospital this much if it wasn't for you. Just sign the damn papers and get the fuck out of my house. If I ever see your ass near this house I will shoot you. Remember, Charlie has guns and knives. I am tired of your shit and won't fucking take it, now get the fuck out!"_

End of flashback. "Jacob, get the fuck out of here. Don't talk to me, don't come near me. Touch me again and I will get a baseball bat." **(he he)**

"Fuck you, bitch." He then turned and left the room without another word said. Right after he left Edward entered the room. By the look on his face I knew he had heard every word I had said.

"You heard?"

"Every word," Edward walked over to me, sat in the chair beside the bed, and held my hand. "I could have helped you, I wanted to."

"I'm glad you didn't though. I need to fight my own battles. How about this, you take Mike and I'll take Jacob." I kissed him once and then heard a light knock on the door. "I looked up and saw Carlisle holding a tiny cup.

"Edward told me your head was hurting."

"Yes, it has been. Do you know when I get to leave?" I was hopeful that it would be soon.

"It seems that we will have to keep you over night. We need to watch and make sure that you don't have any other trauma than what we have noticed." He made me realize that I was bandaged.

"What happened to me anyway?"

"Edward caught you, but you did hit your head before he could get to you. You had a cut on your head that needed stitches and an obvious concussion."

"Oh, did Charlie already leave?" I knew the answer to that and was happy, yet sad, when it was confirmed. "I don't want to stay here by myself."

"I'm sure Edward would be happy to stay with you." I look over to Edward and he is smiling his crooked smile.

"I wouldn't think of leaving you alone, you may fall out of bed and break and arm." Edward winked at me and I blushed. How did he know so much about me?

"Here take this," Carlisle hands me the cup and I see that it has two pills in it.

"Will they make me tired?" he just nodded and I took the medicine. He said his goodbye's and took his leave. I was starting to feel hazy after a few more minutes and mumbled what I think was, "Promise you won't leave." I heard Edward laugh.

"I promise not to leave your side." I then closed my eyes and fell into a deep, drug induced, Edward filled, sleep.


	5. Realization

_The faintest part of me knew that I was asleep. I was at the reservation with Jacob and Edward. I think we were at La Push. Edward was fighting with Jacob over something. I listened closer and heard the_ _slightest growl come from one of the two. I walked closer and they didn't seem to notice me. As I got closer I could hear the conversation. "Leave her alone. Don't come near her and don't think about talking to her. Trust me I will know about anything you try and will get to you before you can even think about getting to her." Edward was the one talking and it was in quick agitated words. I was surprised that Jacob caught them all._

"_You can't tell me what to do or who to talk to. I love her and will not leave her alone. I imprinted with her. I can't go without her. I will die." Yeah, I knew that Jacob was a werewolf. The whole "tell the 'imprintee' everything" deal made it possible for me to know. Sadly that also meant that when he hit me it hurt like hell._

"_Too bad mutt, she loves me now and you can't have her. Why don't you tell her that the imprint wasn't real?" Jacob's face was a carving that looked pissed and shocked._

"_What did you just say?" Jacob's voice was just above a whisper._

"_Yeah, I know all about your fake imprint with her. I can read minds remember. Or did your clan forget to pass on the deal on our powers?" Edward had a strange smile on his face and I realized that he had fangs._

"_Shut it, leech," then Jacob lunged toward Edward._

I woke up screaming again. Edward was trying to hush my screams. I looked around the room and saw Jacob standing against the wall. I yelped out a smaller scream then. I calmed down and looked toward Edward. "What the hell is he doing here?" I was freaking out. I was wondering if what I was hearing was a dream or not.

"He came while you were asleep, said that he wanted to 'check up' on you." Edward glared to the side of the room that Jacob was standing.

"Edward, would you happen to have a baseball bat? I promised that if he came around again I would get a bat and I always keep my promises." I glared at Jacob the entire time I said this. I didn't want him here or anywhere close to me for that matter. I didn't like waking up and finding him in the same room. It gave me the creeps.

"Come on sweetheart, don't be like that." Jacob winked and took a step closer to me.

"Get the hell away Jacob." I looked at Edward for a second and I guess that had to be the wrong idea. I could feel Jacob getting closer and saw Edward stand quickly. I looked back over at Jacob and saw that he was a lot closer than I had hoped and that his hands were balled up into tight fists trembling with anger.

"Jacob, you wouldn't want to phase this close to your imprintee now would you?" Edward's voice had a taunting ring to it and I started to really think about my 'dream'. "You would want to hurt her now would you? Doing that would cause you too much pain."

"Leech, do you want me to kill you?" Jacob was posting it as a threat. Where had I heard him say the word leech before? What did he use it for? I was thinking really hard and gasped when it came to me.

"You're a vampire?" I looked at Edward and saw his features go hard and stone like. He looked tense and upset. "Jacob, I don't want you here. Go away. I don't care if Edward is a vampire or not. I do love him and that is more than I could ever say about you." I looked away and a deep blush spread across my face when I realized what I had just said. Edward didn't wait for Jacob's reply. He grabbed Jacob by the shirt and pulled him out of the door. He was gone for a few minutes, but did return. When he did he had a small smile on his face.

"Did you really mean all of that?" Edward looked nervous and happy.

"Of course, why would I lie?" I had to look away from Edward after admitting it. I was nervous that he would freak and run the other way. I hadn't even known the guy for 48 hours and I was saying that I loved him. How much more desperate could I sound?

"Bella, everything is okay. I love you too, but I have known I would be with you for quite some time. See my family and I are vampires, as you said, and my sister, Alice, can see the future. She was shocked when she saw that I would finally be with someone and told me about you. I saw what you looked like through her mind and when Carlisle told me that Charlie Swan needed help with his daughter, I didn't think twice before tagging along."

"Wait a minute. You said that you saw what I looked like through her mind? How does that work?"

"I can read minds Bella."

I gasped and turned a deep red. Did he know what I was thinking? Could he answer my thoughts if I asked him to? "Can you read mine? What am I thinking?"

"Bella, love, I can't read your mind. You are the first person that I couldn't hear their thoughts. It makes being around you so much easier. It makes me curious and frustrates me, but I can tell that you like it this way." I just then realized that I was smiling like a fool. I wiped the smirk off of my face and gestured for him to come closer. I kissed him and this time didn't hold back. I pulled him close to me and kissed him until I was lightheaded and dizzy. I broke off the kiss to breath and saw Carlisle standing in the door way with a smirk on his face.

"It is nice to have you know about our secret Bella, but you mustn't tell anyone about it. It could get dangerous if people knew about us. Now Edward, I need to speak with you in the hallway." With that Edward nodded kissed me and left the room. They were out of the room for a while and I fell back asleep. I had no dream and was happy for it.

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**Love it?**

**Want me to change it? **

**The more comments I get the more I will work. So please comment.**

**-Rachael**


	6. Meeting Alice

**Previously:**

"**Bella, love, I can't read your mind. You are the first person that I couldn't hear their thoughts. It makes being around you so much easier. It makes me curious and frustrates me, but I can tell that you like it this way." I just then realized that I was smiling like a fool. I wiped the smirk off of my face and gestured for him to come closer. I kissed him and this time didn't hold back. I pulled him close to me and kissed him until I was lightheaded and dizzy. I broke off the kiss to breath and saw Carlisle standing in the door way with a smirk on his face.**

"**It is nice to have you know about our secret Bella, but you mustn't tell anyone about it. It could get dangerous if people knew about us. Now Edward, I need to speak with you in the hallway." With that Edward nodded kissed me and left the room. They were out of the room for a while and I fell back asleep. I had no dream and was happy for it.**

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When I awoke I noticed that the hospital room was bright. The sun must be shining pretty bright. I looked around the room, but didn't see Edward. I was staring to wonder if Edward and Jacob fighting was really just a dream. After a few minutes I noticed that there was someone else in my room. She wasn't tall, her hair was in spikes in all different directions, she was wearing designer clothes, and she looked like a ballerina. She was pale and well, well she was one of the prettiest females I had ever seen. She could make super models squeal in vain. I realized that I had been staring with this intent look. I looked away, blushed, and said, "Do I know you?"

The tiny built girl walked forward and extended her hand toward me. "My name is Mary Alice Brandon Cullen. I am one of Edward's sister's." I shook her hand with mine. I didn't really understand why she was here.

"Hello Mar" I was interrupted before I could finish her name.

"Please, call me Alice."

"Okay. Hello Alice. My full name is Isabella Marie Swan. I go by Bella. No offense, but why are you here?" I really wanted to ask where Edward was, but I thought that would be rude.

"Edward went with Carlisle and they wanted me to break the news to you. Bella, your father was in a car accident. He should be fine, but you will be coming home with me today. You are allowed to leave whenever you feel ready. If you would like we can go shopping." Alice didn't give me a chance to speak, she just kept babbling on and on.

"Alice? Am I allowed to leave right now? I really don't like hospitals at all. They smell like old people, sick people, and anti-bacterial soap. I would like to go shopping, but I need to stop at home first to get my money and change."

"Of course we stop by your house. You will need to pack anyway. You will be staying at our house for about two weeks." Alice was beaming with joy. She was so excited for this that I couldn't keep from smiling at her.

"Do you mind leaving so I can get changed?" Alice nodded and turned to leave the room. I got up out of bed and walked over to where my clothes were. All I could say was Ewww. They were covered in blood and I couldn't hold back the gag. "Alice," I called, "Do you think the hospital would have something I could wear home? My clothes are covered in blood." Alice walked into the room holding what looked like a brand new outfit.

"I forgot to give these to you. I picked it out while you were sleeping. I had realized that your clothes were quite disgusting….well tempting to me, but disgusting to you." Alice looked embarrassed to admit that the smell of my blood was tempting to her. I understood though and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Thank you Alice." She left the room again and I changed into what she had picked out. Wow! These are designer clothes as well. They must have been a fortune. They fit so nicely though. "Okay Alice, I am ready to go." I picked up my clothes and threw them into the trash bin and left the room.

"Do you like what I picked out?" Alice looked happy yet insecure.

"Alice, they are fantastic. You shouldn't have spent this money of me though. I don't need stuff like this. I have clothes at home that you could have gotten for me…" We had just reached the parking lot when my jaw dropped. Alice was walking toward a bright yellow 911 Porsche Turbo. That had to be one of my favorite cars and my dream car. The only difference was that I wanted one in blue. "Nice car."

"Thanks, it was a Christmas present from Edward." My jaw dropped again and Alice giggled. She pulled out of the parking spot and headed down the road toward my house.


	7. First Meeting

After we pulled out of the parking lot I watched Alice while she drove. She looked relaxed yet tense. I couldn't find a reason for her to be tense. Her hands around the wheel were so tight that I thought that she would break the wheel or her knuckles, yet she had a smile on her face. I turned on the radio to find "Let Me Go" by 3 Door Down. I couldn't help but sing along.

One more kiss could be the best thing  
But one more lie could be the worst  
And all these thoughts are never resting  
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me

_[Chorus]_  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for  
And I turn my back on loving you  
How can this love be a good thing  
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me

Alice joined in about here and we sang together through the rest of the song. She was singing an amazing harmony to my melody.

_[Chorus]_  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Just Let me go...  
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try  
I can't escape these things inside I know  
I know.  
When all the pieces fall apart  
You will be the only one who knows  
Who knows

_[Chorus]_  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know Who I am  
So let me go  
Just let me go

And you love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
And you love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't know me

We finished the song and I realized that we were outside my house. That was fast. I go to open the door and Alice stopped me. "Do you want me to go in with you Bella?"

I didn't feel that I needed her to come with me, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Sure. I am just going to run up to my room, grab my money, and some clothes. Hopefully it won't take that long." I opened the door and Alice followed me into the house. I reached above the door to get the key and unlocked the door. I walked into the house and Alice followed closing the door. I went up the stairs to my bedroom and grabbed my purse from my closet door and grabbed my duffle bag from under my bag. Alice was already in my closet picking out clothes that I would wear. She came out arms filled above her head with clothes. It looked like it would last me three months.

"This should last you for two weeks," Alice said. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Alice this looks like it would last me 3 months. What are you planning to do? Have a fashion show?" The look on Alice's face confirmed it. I busted out laughing. I actually fell to the floor holding my stomach.

"I don't usually have people to dress up. Vampires don't need make-up or fancy clothes to look good." Alice folded my clothes neatly and put them in the duffle bag. Somehow she fit all the clothes in there and we went back down the stairs. I locked the door behind me and went out to Alice's car. She out my clothes in the trunk and we headed down the street. I had realized that Alice looked tense again.

"Alice, why do you seem so tense around me," Alice looked at me surprised. I instantly looked away.

"I didn't think you would realize," Alice said sadly. "It isn't you, well it is, but it isn't about who you are. It is the smell of your blood. It is so intoxicating. I don't want to bite you, but your blood is just so tempting. I am happy that I wasn't there when you hit your head or you may be dead." Alice looked like she was ashamed of herself.

"Alice, I understand that it is hard to be around humans when you are a vampire. You don't need to be ashamed of admitting how hard it is to hold back. I will always understand." I touched Alice's shoulder but quickly pulled my hand away. Her eyes were black as coals. "Um, Alice why are your eyes black?" Alice looked in the rearview mirror and jumped.

"I need to hunt before we go shopping. Do you mind if I leave you with my family while I do?"

"Uh…Are they nice?" Alice giggled.

"Of course they are silly." I smiled at her and agreed. When we reached her house she took my stuff up to what looked like her room and put the bag of clothes on her bed. She went down the stairs and introduced me to her family. "Bella, this is Esme, my mother, Rosalie, my sister, Emmett, her husband and my brother, and Jasper, my husband."

"Hi," I said shyly to everyone. Esme walked up to me and gave me a hug.

"Welcome, to our abode, Bella," She said into my ear. I replied with my thanks and sat down on the couch beside her. Alice gave Jasper a quick kiss, told the family that she was going out for a quick hunt, and left. I looked around the room and the seemingly normal people around me. They all seemed human except for their beauty and how pale they were. I didn't have to wait long for Alice to return. When she got back she told her family that we were going shopping. Esme hugged us both and we left.

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**Okay. So I wanted to put a song in. I have no idea why.**

**Do you like this chapter and story so far?**

**Let me know.**

**Thank you.**

**Rachael**


	8. Rememberance

Alice and I are on the way to the mall. I'm sitting in the passenger seat listening to her sing. I'm not sure what station she is listening to, but it has a little bit of everything. Alice is singing "Hero/Heroine" by Boys like Girls and I am staring out the window. As the song comes to a close "Concrete Angel" by Martina McBride starts playing. I immediately start crying. Alice stops singing and pulls over to the side of the rode. "What is wrong Bella? Why are you crying?"

"My mom…she used to sing that song to me when I was little." I was speaking between sobs and I was hyperventilating. "I will…never….g…get to h…here…her sing a…a…again."

Alice hugged me tightly and patted my back gently, "How did she die?"

"She had breast cancer. We thought she was going to make it. She wasn't giving up. She refused to. She got through it once, but it came back. The kemo made her to week and she died two weeks after she got it again." I had just calmed down enough that I could talk again.

"I know how you feel," Alice said while she started the car again. "So, Bella, have you met vampires before?"

"No. Why do you ask," I asked curiously. "Alice, is there something I should know."

"Bella, my story isn't that happy. You can stop me if you wish, but it has a happy ending." I didn't say anything so Alice continued. "Back when I lived you were put in asylums for having anything abnormal about you. When my parents found out that I had visions they instantly put me into an asylum. The day that I was declared as dead was the day that the asylum took me in. My parents never visited me and neither did my sister. I soon forgot what day it was or where I was. I remember being put in the asylum, but I had no emotions…no feelings. James was the first vampire I met and he wanted to kill me. An old vampire changed me and I didn't see him anymore after that. I had a vision that I would find Carlisle and his family. I also had a vision of Jasper in a diner. I knew that I had to be with him so I went to the diner and told him that he had kept me waiting. He took my hand and we haven't been separated since." Alice was smiling at the end of her story.

"That is so cute," I said. "Did you ever see your family again?"

Alice's face fell slightly. "I tried, but my family died. I found my sister's grave beside my parents'."

I sighed, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Alice told me.

"I know," I told her. "I just can't help but feel sorry for you."

Alice nodded, "We're here Bella."

I looked up to find that we were in the mall parking lot.


	9. Shopping

I opened the car door and stepped out of the car. Alice walked around her car and said, "Are we going to shop or are we going to stand here all day?"

I giggled and looked at Alice, "Lead the way." She started walking toward the entrance of the mall and a fast pace. I basically had to sprint to keep up. She was close to five feet ahead of me when she looked back and realized how fast she was walking.

"I'm sorry," she said kindly. "I'm not used to walking with human," she muttered and let out a small laugh.

I shook my head at her and said, "I'm a slow walker in the first place. I fall too much that I have to look where I am going constantly." She laughed harder and I lightly slapped her arm. "Ouch," I muttered. Alice giggled again and I stormed ahead of her and headed in the direction of the entrance. Alice easily matched my pace and laughed.

"I'm sorry if I offended you," Alice said smiling.

"Its fine," I said walking toward Hot Topic. "I love this store," I looked over to Alice to see her shaking her head. I laughed and waved at Tyler who was working. I walked straight to the petticoats and grabbed one in every color. I then walked to the band shirts and grabbed about twenty. After I got those I put them next to Tyler and said, "This may take a while." Alice giggled and followed me around the store 'tsk'ing when she didn't like what I was picking out. After I got some skirts, pants, and shoes I looked at her and asked, "What is wrong with my clothing style."

Alice laughed and said, "Well for one, nothing that you picked out will match and this clothing doesn't match your personality. I wouldn't mind this clothing if you were more of a bitch, but as far as I know, you aren't."

I shook my head and flipped her off, which only caused her to bust out laughing. "What is so funny," I asked her getting pissed.

"You just don't know how weird it is to see someone like you flipping someone off. You just seem and act like such a nice person that it contradicts," she said calming herself down. I walked back up to the counter and smiled at Tyler.

"Hey Tyler," I said flirtatiously. This is how I afforded all this crap. With a bat of my eyelashes he was like a lost puppy. "Since we are so close, do you think I could get a discount," I asked winking at him. I saw Alice's jaw drop from the corner of my eye as Tyler nodded and winked back at me smiling. He rang up my clothes and junk and put everything into four large bags. Thanks to his discount and my flirting I only had to pay 300 dollars for about a year worth of clothes. "Thank you Tyler," I said blowing him a kiss before leaving the store.

"What was that," Alice asked giggling.

"He gives me discounts for clothes when I flirt with him," I admitted sheepishly. Alice laughed and I glared at her, "You are not allowed to tell Edward about any of this." She nodded in agreement and we headed to Journeys. Alice had taken two of my bags for me so I wasn't tripping over the weight. I walked into the store and walked back to look at the converses. I wasn't sure where Alice was, but I heard someone's footsteps behind me. I turned thinking that it was Alice when I saw him. He was tall and he looked pissed, more pissed than I had ever seen him. This couldn't end well. "What the hell are you doing here," I asked.


	10. Injuries

"I came here to talk to you," he said quietly. His smile grew wider. His white teeth were bright against his bronzed skin. His dark hair cascaded around his face and down his back. He must have phased at least ten minutes ago, because his hair was still tousled from the wind.

"Jacob," I said trying to move away. "Get the fuck away from me." I tried to side step him, but he stepped in front of me.

"Don't be like that Bella," he said resting his hand on my cheek. I quickly slapped it off and he slapped me hard enough for it to sting. "Don't ever do that again," he said quietly, but his voice held nothing but anger. He pulled his hand back again and hit me hard across the cheek. He then punched me and I was pretty sure that it must have broken something. I tried to escape the corner he pushed me back into the wall. I looked around and realized that the store was empty.

"What happened to everyone," I asked regretting it instantly.

"Did I not tell you Bella," he asked quietly. "I'm the manager of the store now. I can clear this place out fast and when I saw you enter with your little friend I knew that this was my chance. The restraining order said nothing about you coming to see me. I quickly told the costumers that I had to close the store for the afternoon and everyone left. Your friend tried to come in to get you, but I told her I'd send you out to her. The poor thing didn't know that she wouldn't be able to see your future with a werewolf close by. Isn't my planning perfect," he asked as he stepped closer to me. I tried to step away from the wall, but he pushed me back again and I felt and heard the tear as my scalp was cut. I screamed and Jacob clamped his hand down over my mouth with too much force.

I bit his hand and kicked him in the groin. He fell to the ground and I tried to run from him, but I was getting too dizzy to keep my balance fully. I looked behind me to see if he had gotten up and soon realized how dumb that idea was. I tripped and hit my head hard on the ground. I felt a pair of cold arms wrap around me like iron bars. Soon the ground was no longer under me and I tried to protest, but all that made it out of my mouth was the sound of air being pushed out at maximum force.

"Don't try to talk," a quiet voice said. The voice was as light and beautiful as wind chimes. "Dad," She said, "It is Alice. Bella's hurt. I'm on my way there." I heard a phone close and everything went completely quiet. I felt free, as if I was floating. I was sure that if this were death that I didn't mind it. It was peaceful, relaxing. There were none of those clichés of flashbacks or reliving anything, just a peaceful blackness. I let myself go and completely into the darkness.

The next thing I heard was a frantic voice close to my head. "Bella," it whispered. "Please be okay. Bella, are you okay." The voice sounded like an angel…an angel of despair. I tried to talk to him and tell him that I was fine, but it felt like there was a weight pushing down on my chest. I could smell the scent of blood and it made my stomach turn. Surely this couldn't be heaven. Where was I? I forced for my eyes to open and saw the saddest face. I didn't know where I was, but he was with me and holding my hand. I turned my head the slightest bit and screamed in pain.

He placed a hand on my cheek and tried to calm me saying, "Bella, don't try to move." I nodded to let him know I understood and screamed again. "Carlisle," he called. Soon after Carlisle entered the room and saw that I was awake. "What do we do?" I closed my eyes not wanting to see his pain stricken face.

"We have no other choice," Carlisle told him. "She has lost too much blood and she injured her spine badly. I give her about 12 hours, and that is majorly stretching it, for her to live if we don't change her."

I couldn't see what emotion played on Edward's face, but I knew that he must have made a decision when he kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry," was all he said before biting my neck.

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**Hey there.**

**I may not be able to post for a while. **

**I'm going to try my hardest, but my parents and I are getting ready to move.**

**Also, school starts in ten days. **

**I will post as often as possible.**

**Tell me what you think about the story so far. **

**I love reading your comments.**

**I aslo like constructive criticism.**

**READY...**

**Set...**

**GO Comment!!!**

**-Rachael**


	11. Prey

I close my eyes as the fire starts in my neck and began to travel through my body. I feel another sting and another flame starts to travel through my left arm. This process continues, sting then flame, and I begin to understand what is going on. They have decided to turn me. I felt deeply joyous, but the flames wouldn't let me feel the joy outwardly. I lay as still as possible and refuse to make a single sound. Ever few hours or so I hear footsteps and people talking.

"Is she going to make it," Edward asks frantically.

"Yes," Alice replies. "I can already see her getting clearer. She will be ready soon." There is a sudden silence and I hear what sounds like a small jump. "I'll get everyone," She says as she leaves the room quickly. The fire in my body recedes quicker than I though it would. First it leaves my hands, feet, and head. Then my legs, arms, and neck are relieved of the burning sensation. Finally the flame leaves with the final beat of my heart and I open my eyes to the new world I have joined.

I look around the room at the faces surrounding me, each more beautiful than before. I save the best for last. When I look into Edward's eyes I can't help but smile. It feels like I have known him for years and my dead heart seems to inflate as I look at him. I run to him and hug him fiercely. I feel him rub my back and whispers, "There is no need to break my back love." I can tell that he is smiling and I loosen my grip just enough for him to feel comfortable.

I pull back and look into his beautiful eyes, "You look hungry."

"As do you," he replies tracing what must be circles under my eyes. "Are you ready to go hunting?" I gulp and nod my head lightly. He laughs quietly and kisses me softly. I gasp as it feels like electricity is passing between our lips and kiss him back furiously. I hear someone clear their throat and pull away from him smiling.

"I think I may be ready," I say looking down at the ground. "What are we hunting?"

A mischievous smile forms on his lips as he whispers, "You'll see," before jumping out the open window.

...

I jump out the window following him and laugh at the weightless fall. I land softly on the balls of my feet and realize that I am wearing 9 inch stilettos. "Alice," I mutter rolling my eyes before taking them off and lightly throwing them through the window, hoping they hit her head. I hear Edward laugh and I turn back to him. "What is so funny, mister?"

Edward smiles at me and wraps his arms around my waist, "I'm just so happy that you are alive…and that Alice thinks you need a lesson on good fashion."

I laugh and yell over my shoulder, "I'm not wearing stilettos to go out hunting, Alice." I hear a growl emanate from the room above and decide that it is best to run. I get to the river quickly and realize that I was running faster than Edward. I smile up at him as he catches up and ask, "Am I too fast for you?"

Edward smiles, "For now, but not for long." Before I can even touch him he jumps over the river and runs into the forest. I follow him and quickly catch up to him.

"Is that the best you've got," I ask him and laugh at the pout forming on his lips. I jump on his back and whisper into his left ear, "Is that better? You can't lose now."

Edward laughs and stops running. I look at him curiously and he smiles. "We can't keep running…unless you want to hunt in Canada."

"I'm just fine with staying in America, thank you," I reply and get off of his back. "What do I do now?"

"Close your eyes and focus. Let your mind wander and your senses gain strength," Edward whispers. I do as he says and catch on to a most delicious scent. I turn and run without another word. The scent is overpowering and mouthwatering. It can't be over two miles away. I enter a small clearing and look into the eyes of my frightened prey.


	12. Blood

**Okay, so I got a comment that said that if the pray was human that I would be off of their favorites list and that I would always be known as a cold hearted bitch. Well you want to know what? This is my story and if you don't like how it is going then that is too bad for you. Don't like it, don't read it. Okay? **

**Also, Stephenie Meyer had Bella hunt a human at first too. They way I write is mix in some of the facts with what I make up as I write. Again, if you don't like it then don't read. Okay?**

**To all of those who like my stories I want to say thank you. You guys are very nice. I love hearing how much you guys love my story. **

**Well here is the next chapter. **

**Read, Enjoy, and Comment.**

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I could here Edward coming up behind me, but all I could do was stare in disbelief. How could I want to come after something like this? I couldn't look away from the chocolate brown eyes of an innocent looking girl. She had to be around the same age as I was. Her hair framed her face perfectly as she looked at me with a mixture of fear and confusion. I could see that she had a cut on her arm and was bleeding. I quickly held my breath and ran away as fast as I could. I heard Edward following me, but I kept on running. As soon as I was sure that I would no longer be able to smell her blood I stopped running and broke down into tearless sobs. Edward wrapped his arms around me and comforted me quietly.

"Why are you so sad," He asked me. "You did great."

"How did I do great, Edward? I almost attacked a human," I said through sobs. Edward held me and hummed a song that I had never heard before until I calmed down.

"Bella, do you know how many people would kill to have the control to hold their breath and run away? I have never even heard of someone being able to do that," He said kissing my cheek.

"Edward, I feel terrible. I didn't think I would ever want human blood like that. It took all of my will power not to turn around and attack her. Especially since she was bleeding and I could smell the sweet aroma of her fresh blood falling from her arm." As I said this I could feel my will power weakening. I guess Edward could feel it too, because he tightened his grip on me.

"It's not going to be easy, but at least you'll have me here to help you through it," he said with a smile forming across his face. I couldn't help but lean closer to him and kiss him passionately. As soon as it got heated Edward pulled away.

"Do not tell me that you are still having restrictions," I said pouting. I heard Edward laugh loudly and kiss my cheek.

"I don't have anymore restrictions, but I feel that you need to feed," He told me getting off of the ground. I sat there pouting and he just picked me up and started running.

"I wonder," I said out loud before jumping out of his arms and pouncing on him with all of my strength. He quickly fell to the ground and I laughed evilly. "This could be useful," I said kissing him as he laughed quietly.

"Now that isn't fair. I am only looking after you," Edward said kissing me again.

"Well I don't see you fighting against me," I said replied giggling. Edward then rose an eyebrow to me and flipped us so he was pinning me. He laughed menacingly.

"You are going to feed whether you want to or not," He said sternly getting off of me.

I got up and began looking for an animal to feed. We kept running until we entered a clearing and found a herd of deer. I quickly attacked the deer and bit into its neck. It fought against me at first until the venom kicked in paralyzing it. I could feel its heart beat slowing as I drank its blood. When the blood was almost gone I broke the deer's neck to stop its suffering. I did the same with three other deer and then looked over at Edward. He was spotless. There was not a drop of blood on him. I looked down at myself and noticed that I was covered in blood and my clothes were torn to shreds. Edward looked over at me and laughed.

"You'll learn," he said smiling. I shook my head and walked over to him. "Are you full," he asked. I nodded my head and he took my hand before running in the direction of the house.


	13. Sneak Peek!

**Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**I just got my new laptop so I will be able to write again. We are moved and everything around here is starting to calm down. I'm sick so I will be slow for posting chapters, but at least I'll be posting, right? Well here is a sneak peek at the next chapter. I hope you like it and I would love your ideas for me to use as I write more of my story. Thank You!**

**Rachael**

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"I have a surprise for you," Edward said to Bella as they walked through the house. Bella hadn't seen the full place yet, so she didn't realize how big it was, but somehow it seemed bigger. Suddenly it felt different. Like it had changed while she was out hunting, but she couldn't find out what. It seemed like there was more space, like there was a change in how the furniture was arranged, but when she asked Edward he said that it was the exact same from when they had left. She still couldn't shake that feeling though.

She followed Edward up the steps and smiled as he talked about each part of the house as if it was a prize. He got to his room which I entered and looked around the place. I was thinking since we were together that I was going to be staying in here, but when I sat down on the huge golden covered bed in the center of the room he asked me to stand up. "What is it," I asked him with a slight pout on his face.

"I have a surprise for you first," Edward replied with a smile on his face. Oh gosh, that smile could take my breath away still and I no longer needed the air to survive.


	14. Surprises

We ran back to the house, laughing the entire way. I easily beat him across the river and turned back to him smiling. "You, sir, are not very good at races," I said to him with a laugh.

He looked at me and smiled, "Just wait until we play baseball again. Then you will see who is better at running." I laughed at him and he looked at me obviously confused at my laughter.

"So vampires do play baseball? Do you turn into bats too," I asked laughing harder. He shook his head and walked toward the back of the house. "Aw, come on," I said following him. "You know that was funny." He just shook his head in front of me so I ran around him and blocked him from entering the door. I put on my best pouty face and said, "I'm sorry." He laughed at me and kissed me lightly. 

"I have a surprise for you," Edward said to me as we walked through the house. I hadn't seen the full place yet, so I didn't realize how big it was, but somehow it seemed bigger. Suddenly it felt different. Like it had changed while we were out hunting, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It seemed like there was more space, like there was a change in how the furniture was arranged, but when I asked Edward he said that it was the exact same from when they had left. I still couldn't shake that feeling though.

I followed him up the steps and smiled as he talked about each part of the house as if it was a museum. Like a really old museum that was never open to public and was so private that the only people who saw it were forced to forget everything. He got to his room which I entered and looked around the place. I was thinking since we were together that I was going to be staying in here, but when I sat down on the huge golden covered bed in the center of the room he asked me to stand up. "What is it," I asked him with a slight pout on my face.

"Your surprise first," Edward replied with a smile on his face. Oh gosh, that smile could take my breath away still and I no longer needed the air to survive.

"What is it," I asked him smiling widely. I hated surprises, but it wasn't like he could know that. He barely even knew me. He wasn't like Jacob he didn't know my every thought as it crossed my face. Jacob, I wondered what had happened to him. Did Alice kill him? Could she have? I jumped when I heard Edward clear his throat and I got up blushing. "I'm sorry. So where are we headed?"

"Just follow me," Edward said with a smile. I secretly wanted to punch him. I hate surprises. They make me so freaking mad. I mean, why don't they just tell me what it is? It's annoying. I kept saying this as I followed him until we reached the next door after his room. He opened the door and all of my thoughts just stopped. I stepped into the room and looked around surprised. Ha! Surprise! The place was beautiful. I mean I never really had a room that I like to be in. My mom painted my room pink when I was little…I hate pink, but then my dad left my walls plain white and got purple blankets for my bed. Purple was okay, but it didn't compare to the color that was in this room. It was the perfect shade of sky blue. It was like I was walking into the sky itself. There were all the colors that belonged. There was sky blue, white, yellow, and the slightest bit of gold around the room and then the wall across from me was a complete glass window.

"Is this for me?" I asked turning to look at him. He nodded and I smiled. I couldn't believe that someone spent their time creating a room like this. I wasn't worth this much work and effort. I mean why would they want to do this for me? I wasn't anything important to their family. I thought I would just go back and live in my father's house until I graduated and then go somewhere far away. "Who did this?" I asked turning to him.

"Esme and Alice did this while you were changing…and they added the final touches while we were hunting. Alice went back to your house and got all of your books and the bookshelf from your room and I think…well I hope that she got your clothes and didn't buy you a whole new wardrobe," he said with a slight chuckle at the end.

"Wait, you knew about this?" I asked while the realization finally hit me. He laughed at me and nodded. "You should have told me! I can't stand surprises."

"You seem to like this one though," Edward said smiling innocently.

"Oh, shut up. That is not the point here," I said trying not to laugh at myself. I walked over to the book case and looked over the books. It did have all of my books, but there was one that was wrapped up and sitting on top of a row of them. I looked over at him. "Did they do this as well?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I don't think they did," he said honestly. I frowned and sat down on a chair that was hanging from the ceiling and opened it slowly. It was an autographed copy of the book _Wuthering Heights_. I opened the book and looked at the back of the front cover. There was a small object taped there and underneath was cursive writing. I pulled the object out of the tape and saw that it was a ring with the breast cancer symbol on it. I smiled and went down to the writing. It read: _"Bella, I wanted to make your birthday this year special. I know how much your mother meant to you and I am so sorry about the nightmares that you have about her. She loved you very much and I do too. I know this is your favorite book and your old copy was getting beaten up. The money for this ring was given for breast cancer relief. I hope you like it and I hope you enjoy this book. I love you, Dad."_

There were tears streaming down my face as I saw that he actually wrote that he loved me. My father never expressed his emotions. Wait…his funeral. "Edward? Did I miss my father's funeral?" Edward didn't answer. He just stood there looking out my window. "Edward, answer me! EDWARD!"

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**I wrote more than I usually do! Be shocked and amazed! Haha! I do know that vampires do not cry in twilight, but I'm going to say that they do in my story. Just be happy that I didn't make it tears of blood. =) -Rachael**


	15. Making Amends

When Edward finally turned toward me there was such a sadness in his features. I walked up to him quickly, touching his cheek. "What is it Edward? What's wrong?"

He looked down into my eyes and everything seemed to melt away. "I'm sorry Bella, but you were still unconscious at the viewing. I didn't want to tell you about the funeral until later. It will be tomorrow at 1 if you really want to go." I looked up at him in pure shock.

"What could possibly make you think that I wouldn't want to go to my own father's funeral? He was my father Edward. I need to say goodbye, even if it's too late for me to tell him how much he meant to me," I said fighting back the tears again. Edward hugged me to him tightly and kissed the top of my head.

"Do you want to get some rest?" Edward asked me even though we both knew we couldn't sleep. I nodded my head anyway and he led me over to the large bed in my room. I immediately laid down not bothering to take off my shoes, but Edward did that for me. He walked across the room to shut the door and turn off the lights before heading back toward me. When he reached the side of the room the bed was on the pulled out a small remote from the nightstand next to my bed and turned on some classical musical. I instantly recognized it as "Claire de Lune" by Debussy and couldn't contain the rush of tears that began to fall. Edward joined me on the bed and smoothed my hair away from my face and wiped the tears away. "I'm sorry about your loss, Bella. I know how hard it is to lose both of your parents."

I nodded at him and closed my eyes. "This was my mother's favorite song. She listened to it all the time while she was going through cancer treatments. " I didn't see Edwards reaction, but I felt him hug me gently. I didn't want to move from where I was. I didn't want to face the world that I was now living in. I loved Edward more than I could possibly imagine but everything I didn't think of before hit me at once. One, Edward and I weren't even dating and I was in love with him…I was in this for the rest of my life. Two, I would never have a child of my own. And three, I would never see either of my parents again. There's an emptiness you can't fathom when you lose someone you are close to but it's not fair to lose EVERYONE you are close to before you even get a chance to live. I needed out. I needed to go for a run.

"Edward, is it okay if I go out on my own? I just need to think." He nodded in reply to me and I thankfully got up and left. I didn't look at Alice or any of the other family members as I left with new tears streaming down my face. I walked slowly to the tree line but I instantly started to run as I hit the trees. I didn't want to think, didn't want to know anything; I just wanted to get as far from my life as I could possibly get. I had until tomorrow at 1 to be free and just think. I reached a clearing I never knew about in no time and closed my eyes, lying on the ground in the middle of the field. It wasn't until I heard a bustling in the woods that I even opened my eyes, but nothing in my life could have prepared me for what I saw. I looked up to see a Jacob Black walking toward me solemnly. "What the hell do you want now, Jacob? I have enough to deal with without you bugging me."

Jacob nodded and sat down next to me. "Listen, I know I'm the worst person in the world but I heard about what happened to Charlie and I'm really sorry. I went back to the hospital to find you but they said Dr. Carlisle took you into his care. I knew what that mean almost immediately. I just…I want to be your friend again Bells. I know I've made mistakes and I hate myself for hurting you, but you're like a sister I never had and Charlie was the father I always wanted before everything happened between you and I. I should never have laid a hand on you. I was going through a hard time and I had just started going through the change, but it's my fault you are like this. It's my fault that you will always be frozen at this age and never moving forward and I feel terrible about it." I looked up into his eyes and was shocked as I saw the sincerity in his eyes and saw the tears slowly spill over. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I forgive you Jacob. I don't want to be mad at you anymore. You're the last connection I have to my father." I said as I started to cry again. "Did your sisters ever tell you how he used to force me to go fishing with them?"

Jacob laughed and nodded, "And how you forced him to stop taking you because you thought the fish were 'Icky'."

"Hey now, fish are disgusting and slimy," I said with a small laugh. "Do you remember playing in the mud when we were 8? And how Charlie thought I would choke on the mud?"

"Of course he did, you always fell with your face down in the mud and your weak little arms couldn't push you back up. I used to have to pull you up out of the mud myself," he said laughing hysterically. Hmm I would have to stop suppressing so many memories.

After Jacob and I sat and talked for a while I excused myself to go home and get ready for the funeral. I told him that I would appreciate him coming too and nodded with a smile saying he would. I ran back to the house in a rush and stepped back inside. Everyone turned to me and glared. "What the hell?" I yelled at them as the continued to glare.

"What do you think you were doing with that dog?" Alice asked with the temperament of a 9 month pregnant woman.

"We were working things out. Alice, he's the last person that ties me to my father. I need to have him in my life and if that isn't okay with you then I can leave. I don't have to stay here and deal with you." My words seemed to hit pretty hard to Alice because her eyes went wide and she backed away.

"I'm sorry Bella. I'm just worried about you. I don't want you hurt again," she said quietly.

I sighed, "Alice I'm not going to be hurt again. I'm fine and I can protect myself now." I walked up to her to give her a hug. She backed away from me apologetically.

"Get a shower first? You smell like wet dog." I laughed lightly and walked upstairs to my room. I didn't look at Edward as I walked in. I just got a change of clothes, walked into my conjoined bathroom and locked the door after me as I got in the shower. The water was too hot as I got in, but I ignored the singe until my body was used to it. I washed my hair with the Teatree shampoo in the bathroom that smelled like mints and stepped out of the shower as the water started to get cold. I looked at the clock and saw that it was about 8 o'clock in the morning and sighed. I got dressed and exited the bathroom with my hair up in the towel. Edward looked over at me with hurt in his eyes as I stepped back into the room.

"Listen, I know you're mad but I can do what I want," I said firmly as I looked over at him. Edward shook his head and walked over to me.

"You don't get it. I don't want you to get hurt. Nothing will hurt you Bella, I love you," he said with a small smile. I looked up at him amazed.

"So you aren't mad at me?" I asked quietly.

"No, I'm just upset that you wouldn't tell me first. I mean, I knew you were with him when Alice couldn't see you anymore but I wish you would have told me you were meeting him," he said touching my cheek.

"I would have told you but I didn't know about it. He just appeared out of thin air and started apologizing," I explained. "Come on, we need to prepare for the Funeral today." Edward nodded and he took me down to the garage.

"I hope you don't mind that I bought you a car."

I walked out into the garage and saw a bright blue Jaguar XKR with a bow on top of it sitting next to Edward's Volvo. "Seriously, you bought me a sports car?"

Edward chuckled. "You know I like to drive fast. Want to see how fast it goes?" he asked handing me the keys. I smiled and took the keys out of his hand and tore the bow off the roof as I got into the car. It started it with a nice purr and I revved the engine as Edward got in the car. I hit the button to open the garage door and back out of the driveway, hitting the gas pedal as hard as possible as we sped off down the road.

* * *

**So I know I haven't written anything in a while. I guess you can call it writer's block.**

**I hope to have another chapter posted very soon. I'm really into writing again. **

**Let me know what you think with the story so far. I love reading your comments.**

**-Rachael3**


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